Sunday, September 25, 2011

Should I Avoid Orgasm?

I was on the phone with a wonderful woman recently, very spiritually aware and present, and we were discussing a totally unrelated topic, when she nervously asked if she could ask me a more intimate question. I responded, yes of course!  I love supporting people in asking the toughest, most embarrassing questions.  And creating that safe space to do so is very important to me!

So she proceeded to ask about orgasms.  "Should I avoid having orgasms?"  She had been exploring her sexuality and her spirituality, and after reading about some tantric practices was concerned that she may be losing life force energy through her orgasms, so perhaps she should limit them.  She had experienced some mystical, orgasmic experiences in meditation, and thought that perhaps she should limit the physical sexual experiences in favor of exploring the mystical.

In short my answer was "Heck no!  If they feel good, no need to stop!  Enjoy your orgasms! Yes, keep having them! Feel them nourish you!"  and oh by the way, by exploring the physical and sexual, you can also expand your capacity to explore the spiritual and mystical! 

I went on to explain my thoughts on this topic! 

Many of the ancient texts were written by men for men, so sometimes in the translation process the relevancy for women gets missed.  What I believe she had likely encountered were teachings that are focused for men based on ancient traditions that work within the realm of energy. 

To state this complex topic as simply as possible, begins with the premise that our creative, sexual, life force energy is contained within our sexual organs (sperm in the testicles for men, ova (eggs) in the ovaries for women).  Therefore when a man has a traditional orgasm* that includes an ejaculation, he releases sperm from his body and therefore loses some of that life force energy.  However, when women experience orgasm, we do not release the ovum from our body, and therefore do not necessarily experience the same drain of energy.  (Notice I say "necessarily", let's come back to this later** :)  Instead, a woman will more typically feel drained during menstruation, when the egg leaves the body.

Female orgasms generate a tremendous amount of wonderful, nourishing, nurturing, magnetic energy! Think of it as a coccoon of energy surrounding her and her partner(s).  All those involved are then able to breathe and absorb the healing, nurturing qualities of this energy into their own bodies and energy fields.  Allow it in, feel the vibrancy, the nourishment and let it feed you with love and light!

So yes ladies!  Allow yourself to freely experience your orgasms!  Share the loving energy with your partner and breathe in the nurturing qualities for yourselves as well! 

* Orgasm for men as we typically know of it includes an ejaculation at so nearly the same time that we don't even realize they are two separate events.  Yes guys, orgasm and ejaculation can be separated!  This is an empowering practice that can change your capacity for pleasure and pleasure with your partner, in phenomenal ways!  See to learn more.

**And yes there are many types of female orgasm, some feel more draining than others.  In short, "energy-giving" orgasms are an exploration of expansion and blooming open in bliss, whereas "energy-draining" orgasms are more contracting and tense, maybe even feeling like "it wasn't worth it" afterwards.  You can learn to enjoy energy-giving orgasms as often as you like!   See for classes and private sessions to learn more. Also, more on Female Orgasm in a future blog! Including a whole new way of looking at orgasms (they aren't just limited to physical experiences!) :)

As always I welcome comments here and please feel free to contact me directly!

No comments:

Post a Comment